This week my biggest mission has been sleep. Last Saturday I worked a marathon, from 9am to 3am (no joke), as I attempted to fix a project that I had delegated and poorly managed. Lesson learned. Each night since Saturday I’ve snagged maybe 3 hours of sleep, until last night when a heavenly 8 hour slot opened up and I jumped all over it like a squirrel at nutapaloooza.

Speaking of paloozas (cheeky segue, I know) . . . when I arrived at the Greater Hartford Women’s Conference yesterday, I was less than my usual energy-infused self. But, thank goodness I pulled my sorry act together to go. It was exactly what I needed.

Last week, I met with a really sharp, creative client potential. He’s forward-thinking, cool and just the type of folk I want to be associated with. At some point in our chat he said, “So, what is it that you really want to do?” Oh boy. Not this question. I never have a good answer for this one. Sad, but true. My answer was wishy washy and vague. I knew it was yucky even as it came out of my mouth. I can’t remember exactly what I said but the translation was pretty much, “I don’t know.” He picked up on it right away and said, “Well, when you get your s*&% together, give me a call.” No lie, those were his exact words.

Oy! There’s nothing like thinking you’re making a great impression on someone and then kicking yourself square in the nuts (so to speak, of course). So, fast forward to yesterday. I’m tired, I’m drowning in project work, I’m fuzzy, I’m kicking myself for recently taking on some projects that I don’t want, I’m anxious to spend time on my favorite baby, group88, and my 37th birthday is coming up in 3 days. That number is like 3 years from that zero number that I never thought I’d have to think about or face.

The first session at the conference is a panel of some very cool, smart women. They include Janet Peckinpaugh (award-winning TV anchor), Renee Sherman (Ameriprise Financial mover and shaker), Laurie Rosner (Rockville Bank bigwig), Karen Rossi (artistic entrepreneur) and . . . WHAT?!, who is that I see up there, is it, could it be? . . it is! Regina Barreca, UConn professor and sharp-tongued killer of bulls&*#. I could never get into her classes when I attended UConn and one time my mom (also a huge fan) and I tried to get to one of her speaking engagements and it was snowed out. Then I moved to NYC and life got in the way and so, meeting Gina has been a long time coming for me.

As I’m listening to the panel, my energy is coming back in full force. The discussion volleys back and forth between personal stories of the Old Boys Network pioneers and what, if anything, has changed since then. It’s good bonding that needs to happen at something like this. Chics bond, that’s what we do.

After the session ended I thought of something smart to say. Of course. If I could go back, this would be my commentary:

I think it’s great for younger women to hear about the early battles of feminism. We need to know our roots. Let’s face it, I just don’t have to work as hard because of their hard work. And, this leads me to my main point: I think the women who have fought so hard for respect and career advancement need to know that they have succeeded. We are there. We have accomplished the first “it.” I’m a great example. I was never told, “you can’t do that because you’re a woman.” I face different challenges. A friend of mine once said, “Women are a real pain in the ass to work with,” and he laughed it off like a joke. So, I think women today face more subtle challenges. The old mindset still exists but it has, for the most part, morphed. Saying degrading things out loud is now a no-no so they come out in fuzzy tones versus actual dialog. Often times I’ve thought, “Am I being treated like this because I’m a woman or because this guy thinks I’m a jerk?”

My point is that we are there, we did it. So, why are we still rehashing the old stuff? It’s time to take two steps into the future and kill that one leg in the past that is dragging us down. I realize that I just created a three-legged scenario here but, that’s what it feels like. If we’d just chop off that one unnecessary carnival-freak leg, we can sprint forward.

Either way, the humor and insight of Gina and Janet and the rest of the panel was the beginning of a day that has become a turning point for me. Here are the highlights:

1) I had a quick chat with Gina and bought her new book, Babes in Boyland. After finding out that I was an English major at UConn, she said to me, “How come I didn’t have you in a class?” I was impressed that she didn’t say, “did I have you in a class?” I’m guessing she does remember all of her students - or she can at least fake it really well which is just as good.

2) I attended three sessions. Two were excellent and one was not (that’s okay, it happens). My favs were “Designing the Life You Want” with calming Feng Shui expert Lin Huntting Congdon and “Great Presenters and Presentations: Fact vs. Fiction” with spitfire Debbie Fay. Both sessions were complete opposites and both were excellent. Both Lin and Debbie are extremely generous with their knowledge and time and I know I will be learning a lot more from them in the future.

3) Marcia Weider. Marcia, Marcia, Marcia. I didn’t realize it but I sat with Marcia during lunch. I was across the table so I didn’t get the chance to chat with her. But no matter because her talk after lunch was worth every penny of my $129. Typically, I roll my eyes at motivational speakers. I have a bit of a closet arrogant side and usually am skeptical of someone else inspiring me about things that I already know or feel like I should know. Marcia is different. Marcia’s schtick is about dreams. But she doesn’t talk about dreams in a floaty, head cloudy kind of way. She talks about dreaming as a way of living. So, you want to be a dentist? You want to live in Key West? What are you doing about it? Her approach focuses on understanding that our realistic side is really just doubt’s ugly step sister. Our doubt paralyzes us. This is not revolutionary, of course, but the way she frames it has made me think about my own approach to life. The time has come to get off my arse and start doing the two things I really want to do: 1) become a great commentary writer and 2) make group88 successful. I have morphed her ideas into one, simple, three-word question that I will now forever ask myself each time I doubt my decisions: “Who will die?” Really now - if the result of my decision is not death for someone, either family, friend or stranger, than I have no excuse.

4) Dr. Norling. This week we rented out the group88 space to Dr. Sharon Norling and crew from the Mind Body Spirit Center in Westlake Village, California. Dr. Norling is a renowned optimal health expert who focuses on integrating natural and traditional practice. Dr. Norling, massage therapist Lorri Dzuiba (had a chair massage today - she’s awesome!) and Biofeedback Specialist Jim Holton have been meeting with their East Coast clients all week. They love the space and I love having them here. They’re good people. When my group88 co-founder, Jaye Donaldson, said, “Why don’t we have Dr. Norling do a lunchtime talk before she leaves town?”, I thought - can we really pull that together in 2 1/2 days? Well, yes we can! While at the conference Janet made an announcement about our very reasonable $10 lunchtime session on Friday with Dr. Norling and I immediately got 3 business cards handed to me. Dr. Norling’s session at the conference was packed and there were a lot of chics, like me, who weren’t able to get in there so we’re really happy to be able to do this. And, we’re getting the group88 name out there in a big way. Niiiiiiiiice!

5) I know Debbie Fay is reading this and seeing that I now am presenting a list of 5 things which, according to her is okay but not as good as just having 3 things because we all can’t handle more than 3. She’s absolutely right about that. But, frankly, I think 4 things is too weird and I wasn’t about to cut any of them. Odd numbers just seem to work for me which is not odd at all considering I like to think of myself as sufficiently odd. So, number 5 is really just that, number 5.

My crossroads has arrived. I have two career priorities that have been lost in the everyday shuffle of life but no more. I’ll let you know how it goes. Now that I’ve written out my dreams in this blog, I’ve gotta do it, right? Marcia will be proud, I’m sure.

And, by the way, the end of the day topped off with a great bonus: I won a raffle prize! I won by default because 2 other chics were not present, but who cares? It was the perfect prize too of a massage appointment and spa stuff. I deserve it after this week of laptop hell.

Thank you to the South Windsor Chamber and the committee for the Greater Hartford Women’s Conference. The event was phenomenal. Next year will be even better.

It’s not about “how” can I get successful but “how successful can I get?”

This week I attended two girl power networking events, both discovered while rummaging through MeetUp.com. Although hosted in the organizer’s home, each event was very different. The first was The Professional Women’s Lunchtime Collaborative in Springfield, Mass., a small group of business indies who gather once a month with a purpose. Each month a member takes the wheel and presents a project or challenge for the group to nosh on. I like this approach. We bring our lunches, get to know each other in small bits and do our best to stay on topic.

The second event was a wine and chocolate half-social, half-networking evening. About 20 gals and one unsuspecting guy (don’t worry, we went easy on him) gathered in a very cozy fireplaced family room. The group is the Western Mass. sect of eWomenNetwork. This is atypical of their monthly meet ups which are usually a paid-speaker-dinner event. The flow of this event was possibly too casual, as discussions drifted here and there, but I didn’t mind. We kept topics to 90% business and the ideas flowed plenty regarding marketing, staying motivated and looking for new avenues to grow business.

Both events confirmed a gut feeling that I’ve had for several months now: women are itchy. Today’s professional women are energetic, smart and eager to suss out new opportunities. We’re competitive and supportive all at once. Business networking has really grown up and we all recognize the value in creating communities that have direct and indirect impact on our business.

I believe the focus for women succeeding in business is finally shifting from isolated big strides to a multitude of smaller but more effective leaps. In the early days of my career I worked with several women who were still living in the residuals of vigilante feminists. Don’t misunderstand me here – I am a huge proponent of competition and empowerment. I also believe competition is at its best when it coexists with mutual respect and support.

With the long-time career women I encountered in the 1990s, fear of not getting ahead was the driver and an expectation of suppression was a natural response. They were still “fighting the good fight” but their fight was not of 1970s and 1980s solidarity. Their fight had moved from “the man” to protecting their hard won territory against the younger women who were looking for mentorship and empowerment. It was a weird time. My views of this time were possibly skewed because I was green and new to office politics but I doubt this is the case since I see a definite change these days.

We are beyond the 1990s confusion of “every woman for herself while pretending to stick together.” Today, it’s not an either/or situation. In the U.S., it’s not about conquering territory and making a claim anymore. Now is the time for action where the focus is not reaction but impact.

The opportunities now open to everyone in business is causing an itch. I can literally see it in people at the networking events – they’re jumping out of their skins. The breadth of opportunity is immense. It’s not about “how” can I get successful but “how successful can I get?” Moms take time off to hang with their kids and then they float into business whenever the opportunity strikes. I met a woman the other night who quit her job last summer and is just now thinking about getting another one, if the right one comes along. The organizer of the eWomenNetwork group home schools her six kids, yet finds time to help build a community of professionals who are focused on motivating and philanthropic business practice.

Man or woman in business, it’s time to scratch that itch. I want 2008 to be defined by action. Your actions should result in success for your business and for others in your community. Big or small, the actions we take to improve the business environment for others will always have great rewards for our own growth and success.

Yesterday I attended a Hasbro vendor fair at their Pawtucket, Rhode Island headquarters. If you think hanging out all day at the birthplace of Mr. Potato Head is all candy canes, pumpkin pie and green apple licorice . . . Yahtzee! You’re right.

The purpose of the fair is to connect freelancers (writers like me, product and package designers, molders, illustrators, photographers, etc.) with in-house Hasbroites. I have been doing some work with excellent copywriter Kara Parlin at the East Longmeadow, Mass. location and was really psyched to attend this one-day only event. I invited my graphic design co-hort, Amanda Bedard of Spielman Design. Amanda does incredible work and she’s a networking hound like me so it was a perfect fit.

First things first, I need to give some major props to our organizer, Susan Algeo. Susan has more energy than Spiderman on speed and could give lessons on how to keep an event ticking while dealing with 800 interruptions, competition with the buzz of daily life at headquarters and a four-hour window to ensure a productive day for 50+ folks who have traveled as far as Portland, Oregon. At one point, I caught Susan attempting to fill up a plate for lunch and told her that I had a question for her when she was done. Nonsense! We chatted while she tried to eat and then, of course, also took care of a few more interruptions along the way. Along with a catalog of all vendors, a fab hot lunch, an afternoon snack of kettle corn, access to the discounted Hasbro boutique (Christmas for my nephew is done!), we also received either Scrabble or Yahtzee! as a parting gift. It was better than spending the day in Candy Land.

Talking with the Hasbroites was really refreshing. These people love what they do. I talked with copywriter Danielle Slawsby who has great war stories from the dotcom days and is working on some cool web stuff for Hasbro, Joanna Kalafarski who manages packaging and product copy and was kind enough to let me bend her ear while I could tell she was swamped with work, Art Director Kathleen Murray who apparently loves pop culture more than me (although I think it might be a tie) and Design Director Melissa Mips who began with Hasbro at the East Longmeadow branch and seems to know just about everyone in Hasbro’s extensive network of past and current employees. I also met tons of designers like a kid (I think he was older than 12 but I’ll still call him a kid) who designs GI Joe and a guy who’s worked on Play-Doh for ions.

Equally cool was hanging with the other vendors. Here’s a list of my favs:

Fuszion - Killer design company located in Virginia. Rick and Jeff let me babble on about branding and marketing so I loved them even more. How can you go wrong with a name like Fuszion? These guys have awesome years ahead of them.

Smith Design - Mr. and Mrs. Smith are green-concerned packaging and product designers out of New Jersey. Their daughter Jenna, an ex-Silicon Valley girl, represented the fam and did a great job of showcasing their excellent work.

Gary Leveille, Berkshire Creative - Gary is a fellow writer who has quite an extensive list of experience in the biz. He had some great writer-to-writer advice for me which I will keep to myself.

Smartshape Design - Did you know Cleveland is really just an old ‘burb of Connecticut? These guys did - they know everything! Smartshape are innovative engineers who can also hook clients up with tooling and manufacturing. Smart.

Gary & Maggie Houston, A Printer’s Film Service, inc. - Gary and Maggie are a husband and wife duo who met in Providence, RI and worked for Hasbro “back in the day” and now live in North Carolina. Spunk doesn’t begin to describe them.

Philip Hatter, Thistledown Puppets - You have not seen puppets until you’ve met Philip and his puppet posse. His work is incredible and his love for puppet theater really shows in his designs. I kept meaning to ask him why he went with the name Thistledown versus a play on Mad Hatter. For another day.

Pumpkin Pie - Jennifer and Sheridan specialize in branding, logos and package design. They practice what they preach and have done some of the best branding for their own company that I’ve seen in a long time.

Adam Gillespie, Night Light Graphics - Adam is an extremely talented illustrator and graphic designer of cool other worlds. He has a very bright future ahead of him.

Floating Pear Productions - Digital animation experts, Floating Pear were our neighbors and Hasbro’s too since they are based out of Providence, RI. Co-founder Dee Boyd’s bubbly personality and their cool mug give-aways kept the traffic flowing our way. Thanks Dee!

And last but absolutely not least . . .

The Linnett Sisters - A long-forgotten ’50s pop band? Nope. Two creative New Hampshire gals, Katie and Patti, daughters of illustrator Charles Linnett (also an ex-Hasbroite) and owners of Linnett Studios. The Linnett Sisters are talented illustrators and innovative package and product designers.

All in all a great networking event. I’m sure Susan will be looking for feedback on how to make the day better and I really only have one suggestion:

The Catalog - The catalog of vendors was not distributed to Hasbroites unless they strolled down to the event. I would flip this entirely. Why not offer up an electronic catalog teaser to those groups (Design, Creative, etc.) one week ahead of time? In the teaser, I would allow the vendors a quick promo paragraph and also a chance for them to say which Hasbro projects (or types of projects) they’d like to work on.

Life gets in the way - meetings, sick days, unexpected work issues - if someone isn’t able to meet with the vendors on the day we’re there or from the 10-2 time frame, it’s possible that Hasbro staff might want to meet with vendors before or after the event. I say promote the folks who are traveling to Pawtucket, RI as much as possible. There was a lot of talent hanging out in that Hasbro hallway. Keeping us a secret is like telling kids about this great movie where funky fighting, car-morphing machines attempt to destroy the world versus showing them this.

Either way, I’ll be back again next year. To those vendors who declined to attend because they considered it a Trivial Pursuit: you’ll be Sorry! next year if you Boggle an opportunity to Connect Four hours with folks that could move you along in The Game of Life. And let’s not forget the kettle corn. That’s worth the trip to Pawtucket alone.