This week my biggest mission has been sleep. Last Saturday I worked a marathon, from 9am to 3am (no joke), as I attempted to fix a project that I had delegated and poorly managed. Lesson learned. Each night since Saturday I’ve snagged maybe 3 hours of sleep, until last night when a heavenly 8 hour slot opened up and I jumped all over it like a squirrel at nutapaloooza.

Speaking of paloozas (cheeky segue, I know) . . . when I arrived at the Greater Hartford Women’s Conference yesterday, I was less than my usual energy-infused self. But, thank goodness I pulled my sorry act together to go. It was exactly what I needed.

Last week, I met with a really sharp, creative client potential. He’s forward-thinking, cool and just the type of folk I want to be associated with. At some point in our chat he said, “So, what is it that you really want to do?” Oh boy. Not this question. I never have a good answer for this one. Sad, but true. My answer was wishy washy and vague. I knew it was yucky even as it came out of my mouth. I can’t remember exactly what I said but the translation was pretty much, “I don’t know.” He picked up on it right away and said, “Well, when you get your s*&% together, give me a call.” No lie, those were his exact words.

Oy! There’s nothing like thinking you’re making a great impression on someone and then kicking yourself square in the nuts (so to speak, of course). So, fast forward to yesterday. I’m tired, I’m drowning in project work, I’m fuzzy, I’m kicking myself for recently taking on some projects that I don’t want, I’m anxious to spend time on my favorite baby, group88, and my 37th birthday is coming up in 3 days. That number is like 3 years from that zero number that I never thought I’d have to think about or face.

The first session at the conference is a panel of some very cool, smart women. They include Janet Peckinpaugh (award-winning TV anchor), Renee Sherman (Ameriprise Financial mover and shaker), Laurie Rosner (Rockville Bank bigwig), Karen Rossi (artistic entrepreneur) and . . . WHAT?!, who is that I see up there, is it, could it be? . . it is! Regina Barreca, UConn professor and sharp-tongued killer of bulls&*#. I could never get into her classes when I attended UConn and one time my mom (also a huge fan) and I tried to get to one of her speaking engagements and it was snowed out. Then I moved to NYC and life got in the way and so, meeting Gina has been a long time coming for me.

As I’m listening to the panel, my energy is coming back in full force. The discussion volleys back and forth between personal stories of the Old Boys Network pioneers and what, if anything, has changed since then. It’s good bonding that needs to happen at something like this. Chics bond, that’s what we do.

After the session ended I thought of something smart to say. Of course. If I could go back, this would be my commentary:

I think it’s great for younger women to hear about the early battles of feminism. We need to know our roots. Let’s face it, I just don’t have to work as hard because of their hard work. And, this leads me to my main point: I think the women who have fought so hard for respect and career advancement need to know that they have succeeded. We are there. We have accomplished the first “it.” I’m a great example. I was never told, “you can’t do that because you’re a woman.” I face different challenges. A friend of mine once said, “Women are a real pain in the ass to work with,” and he laughed it off like a joke. So, I think women today face more subtle challenges. The old mindset still exists but it has, for the most part, morphed. Saying degrading things out loud is now a no-no so they come out in fuzzy tones versus actual dialog. Often times I’ve thought, “Am I being treated like this because I’m a woman or because this guy thinks I’m a jerk?”

My point is that we are there, we did it. So, why are we still rehashing the old stuff? It’s time to take two steps into the future and kill that one leg in the past that is dragging us down. I realize that I just created a three-legged scenario here but, that’s what it feels like. If we’d just chop off that one unnecessary carnival-freak leg, we can sprint forward.

Either way, the humor and insight of Gina and Janet and the rest of the panel was the beginning of a day that has become a turning point for me. Here are the highlights:

1) I had a quick chat with Gina and bought her new book, Babes in Boyland. After finding out that I was an English major at UConn, she said to me, “How come I didn’t have you in a class?” I was impressed that she didn’t say, “did I have you in a class?” I’m guessing she does remember all of her students - or she can at least fake it really well which is just as good.

2) I attended three sessions. Two were excellent and one was not (that’s okay, it happens). My favs were “Designing the Life You Want” with calming Feng Shui expert Lin Huntting Congdon and “Great Presenters and Presentations: Fact vs. Fiction” with spitfire Debbie Fay. Both sessions were complete opposites and both were excellent. Both Lin and Debbie are extremely generous with their knowledge and time and I know I will be learning a lot more from them in the future.

3) Marcia Weider. Marcia, Marcia, Marcia. I didn’t realize it but I sat with Marcia during lunch. I was across the table so I didn’t get the chance to chat with her. But no matter because her talk after lunch was worth every penny of my $129. Typically, I roll my eyes at motivational speakers. I have a bit of a closet arrogant side and usually am skeptical of someone else inspiring me about things that I already know or feel like I should know. Marcia is different. Marcia’s schtick is about dreams. But she doesn’t talk about dreams in a floaty, head cloudy kind of way. She talks about dreaming as a way of living. So, you want to be a dentist? You want to live in Key West? What are you doing about it? Her approach focuses on understanding that our realistic side is really just doubt’s ugly step sister. Our doubt paralyzes us. This is not revolutionary, of course, but the way she frames it has made me think about my own approach to life. The time has come to get off my arse and start doing the two things I really want to do: 1) become a great commentary writer and 2) make group88 successful. I have morphed her ideas into one, simple, three-word question that I will now forever ask myself each time I doubt my decisions: “Who will die?” Really now - if the result of my decision is not death for someone, either family, friend or stranger, than I have no excuse.

4) Dr. Norling. This week we rented out the group88 space to Dr. Sharon Norling and crew from the Mind Body Spirit Center in Westlake Village, California. Dr. Norling is a renowned optimal health expert who focuses on integrating natural and traditional practice. Dr. Norling, massage therapist Lorri Dzuiba (had a chair massage today - she’s awesome!) and Biofeedback Specialist Jim Holton have been meeting with their East Coast clients all week. They love the space and I love having them here. They’re good people. When my group88 co-founder, Jaye Donaldson, said, “Why don’t we have Dr. Norling do a lunchtime talk before she leaves town?”, I thought - can we really pull that together in 2 1/2 days? Well, yes we can! While at the conference Janet made an announcement about our very reasonable $10 lunchtime session on Friday with Dr. Norling and I immediately got 3 business cards handed to me. Dr. Norling’s session at the conference was packed and there were a lot of chics, like me, who weren’t able to get in there so we’re really happy to be able to do this. And, we’re getting the group88 name out there in a big way. Niiiiiiiiice!

5) I know Debbie Fay is reading this and seeing that I now am presenting a list of 5 things which, according to her is okay but not as good as just having 3 things because we all can’t handle more than 3. She’s absolutely right about that. But, frankly, I think 4 things is too weird and I wasn’t about to cut any of them. Odd numbers just seem to work for me which is not odd at all considering I like to think of myself as sufficiently odd. So, number 5 is really just that, number 5.

My crossroads has arrived. I have two career priorities that have been lost in the everyday shuffle of life but no more. I’ll let you know how it goes. Now that I’ve written out my dreams in this blog, I’ve gotta do it, right? Marcia will be proud, I’m sure.

And, by the way, the end of the day topped off with a great bonus: I won a raffle prize! I won by default because 2 other chics were not present, but who cares? It was the perfect prize too of a massage appointment and spa stuff. I deserve it after this week of laptop hell.

Thank you to the South Windsor Chamber and the committee for the Greater Hartford Women’s Conference. The event was phenomenal. Next year will be even better.

Back in “the” day, I helped my parents run a nursery school in our hometown. That was, for me, about 13 years ago. Other than my 4 year-old nephew that was probably the last time I had any major interaction with kids . . . until today.

Today, I attended a Lunch ‘n Learn at the Henry James Middle School in Simsbury, Connecticut. Folks from the local Chamber were brought in to sit with four groups of kids and talk about their career experiences. The event was pretty cut and dry: we sit down with a group of kids during their lunch time (about 20 minutes) and talk about ourselves and impart any wisdom on choosing a career path, what it’s like in the real world and, well, you get the idea.

My tables went like this:
1) ALL GIRLS: The first group I chose was all girls. I’d forgotten what it was like in middle school - girls to the right, boys to the left. This goes for walking down the hall, dances, lunches and anything that requires mingling. This table was a group of talkative friends who all knew exactly what they wanted to be in life (as of today) and were not shy about asking questions. They picked up handwritten questions from the bucket on the table (an excellent idea for ice breakers) and also chimed in with their own. This group was more interested in where I went to college than my career path but for the most part they seemed to be engaged with talking about both their career interests and mine. Easy first group!

2) ALL GIRLS AGAIN: This group had a variety of quiets and talkies. I enjoyed this conversation as well because these girls really wanted to know things about how my day went and why I do what I do. These girls were great about talking about their interests: actress, writer, nurse, dancer, forensic scientist (although this girl was a bit embarrassed by this choice for some reason), psychologist and child advocate. Lots of “my mom” or someone that has influenced their life was dropped in reference to why they are choosing what they are choosing. You really do forget how much of an impact you have on the young minds around you until you hear them talk about their own future.

3) ALL BOYS: Oh boy. This group was a small group because as they said, “we just don’t have that many friends.” These guys were not exactly speech-barren but they didn’t really offer up too much to say, except for the jokesters of the bunch who gave me fake answers to questions. I kept it casual with these guys and tried to ask questions about what they like. Lots of answers included “boring” and shrugs of shoulders. I also tried to be as unintimidating as possible, being a girl, but who knows if I succeeded or not. Hanging with the boys is a complete 180 from girls. And hanging with a mix was a bigger switch . . .

4) THE MIX: My last group was 4 girls and 3 boys. This is the bunch of jokesters that I would’ve hung out with in school. You have to be thick-skinned and sharp-tongued to sit at this table. There was no keeping on topic or keeping serious at any minute. They were humoring me because I was at the table but, other than that, they can pretty much make a good time all on their own. Good stuff.

In general the questions were along these areas: “why do you do what you do? how did you choose this line of work? where did you go to college/what did you major in?” The best question came from one of the cards on the table: “what has been your best and worst experience in your career?” That was a tough one to do on the fly. And, I’m kicking myself a bit because I didn’t have enough stories. I shared a few but I wish I had a few more that would’ve kept them engaged more. Well, maybe next year.

All in all, I really enjoyed this event. It was casual and free form. The kids that sat with me hopefully enjoyed the conversation and if I was able to impart anything, I hope it was the one philosophy that I live by: Whatever you do, choose something you love that plays on your strengths. If it starts to be something you hate, take the best parts of what you’ve learned and get something better.

Thanks for the day kids - that was a much needed break!

At one of my first days of a UConn internship at rogue publishing house Curbstone Press in Willimantic, Conn., I remember brown bag lunching with 5 or so employees that included office manager Lisa, soon-to-be-pal Bob, interns and co-founder Sandy Taylor.

We all chatted about this or that, noshed on our sandwiches and, being new and young, I did my best to not say anything stupid (big anxiety #17). At one point I found myself staring at the “thing” Sandy was crunching on. He noticed my puzzled look and said with a smile and wink, “Onion with jam. The Danes love this.” Away he crunched as if it were a pretzel or some other more watchable food.

This odd lunch was the first in a long line of my studied observations of Sandy. He is like no one, yet like everyone, I had ever met. There’s nothing odd about Sandy. He’s a tallish, gray-haired, skinny white guy with a signature shoulder-shaking laugh and an arm’s list of anecdotes that he tells over and over again. He’s everyone’s uncle. Pass him in the grocery store and you’d think, there goes somebody’s uncle.

Sit down and have a smoke with Sandy, however, and you soon uncover a passionate, driven humanitarian. If socio-enlightening poetry and literature could choose an ambassador, it would be Sandy Taylor. Several Latino, Danish, African, Mexican (and more) authors have done so, choosing to publish with Curbstone many times over.

The amazing thing about Sandy was his ability to walk the line between human rights supporter, businessman, professor, boss, mentor and friend. Sandy and I both didn’t know it but, back in my intern days, he helped me define “Career Suzi.” My personality is genuinely one of energy, good attitude and eager-to-please. I have this sick gene that makes me really, really like work of any kind – hands-on or strategic. Sandy was smart and typically brought me in on several different types of projects because he knew I’d do whatever had to be done.

More importantly, he didn’t hesitate to snap me back into line when I veered off course. This was new for me. I rarely had anyone tell me that I was doing anything wrong (big anxiety #24) because, I think, they were afraid I’d stop doing stuff altogether. Sandy knew I could take criticism and I appreciated the respect.

One time Sandy sat me down for a serious chat (big anxiety #13). I had applied for a position at UConn’s bookstore. He had given me a high recommendation to the manager, also his close friend. I was a little late to the interview and, apparently, the manager had checked up on my track record of working with the bookstore’s sister business. Yup, late there too.

A concerned Sandy let me know that my lateness gave me very unfavorable marks. He told me that if I expected to be successful, I needed to be on time. “It may seem small,” he said in a direct, even tone, “but if someone who doesn’t know you only sees that you don’t respect their time, they won’t take the time to get to know you at all.” I’m still late in my personal life but when it comes to business, never. The thought that somehow somewhere I might be disappointing Sandy makes me get up earlier, put on less make-up and drive faster.

I don’t think Sandy ever stopped to think about his influence through Curbstone’s good works or with the many Curbstonistas that milled about that creaky old Jackson Street house over the years. He was always thinking ten steps forward, ten books forward, ten causes forward and, always, ten authors forward. For many, Sandy is Curbstone. For me, Curbstone is one of the finest creations from Sandy, a surrogate uncle to good works, authors that may not otherwise occupy shelf space and wannabe publishing upstarts. I have lost a friend and mentor. My life is better for knowing Sandy Taylor. Crazy onion-jam sandwich and all.