One thing I’ve gotten really good at is saying no. It’s taken childhood, puberty, those stupid years, the settling down stuff and now my reinvention phase. The first thing to understand about saying no is that it’s not just about you. When your gut tells you not to do a project, it’s taking the high road and thinking of everyone involved. And you thought your gut only had your interests to consider.

Case in point: I was recently contacted by an editor that I’ve worked with on a few how-to books. He wanted me to take on a 5-month project where I would be doing 90 percent of the writing. I know how these projects go. It would consume nearly 70 percent of my week because I would be responsible for the research, writing and then squabbling with my co-author (the expert in the field) about how it should be written. I said yes to the project even though my gut was saying, “no! no! no!”

I began by doing a little research and then drew up an outline that turned out to be all wrong for the book. Right then I knew I had to drop the project. My mind, my time and my heart was elsewhere. Yes, I needed the money but the project didn’t fit into my business goals of:

a) Taking on projects that align with the writer that I want to be
b) Taking on projects that I actually want to do

Luckily, I dropped the book project early enough so my editor could find someone else to fill my shoes. When I called to give him the bad news, he was very cool about it. After I hung up, I felt like I had just been given backstage passes to a private U2 concert. Well, maybe not that good, but pretty darn close.

Here’s how I now say no to something, before I take on a project:

Step 1: Digest. When a project or idea comes your way that you’re unsure about, don’t say anything. I’m not suggesting you mute up, but ask your inquirer as many questions as possible and then tell them that you need to think about it.

Step 2: Assess. When you’re thinking about the project on your own time, assess it within the scope of your other projects, your life and your future. Does this project align with your goals or are you just taking it on for the money or to kill time? If it’s just for the money, personally, I think that’s the toughest call to make. At some point you need to say no to money if you want to build your brand and focus your career. It just has to happen that way. If you’re looking to “kill time,” spend it on marketing yourself not committing to something you’ll regret later.

Step 3: Gut It Out. We all do it. We all ignore our gut instincts. Your gut is there for a reason - don’t deny it’s rightful place in your decision making!

Two weeks after I dropped the book project, two new clients dropped in my lap. Two FANTASTIC clients. Two clients who are a perfect fit for me. Two clients that I would’ve been forced to say no to if I took on the book project.

Don’t fear the power of no. At times, it’s just as good as saying yes.

To Connecticut businesses big and small: where are you? A small scant of you I met this morning at Connecticut Business Day (if there was more information on this event, I’d link to it). Others are skimming this post and asking, “what is Connecticut Business Day?” Sounds impressive doesn’t it? It’s really less of an event and more like a half day of discussion and stale danish.

I didn’t know Connecticut Business Day existed until I attended a Simsbury Chamber of Commerce event last week. I also didn’t know what to expect. I attended the open session to hear Governor Rell and legislators speak about the top priorities in Connecticut business. Mission accomplished. I also attended with the intention of raising my hand to ask Gov. Rell if any incentives or programs are being discussed to support the growth and unrelocation of mobile and solo entrepreneurs. Oops.

Well, I missed my chance with the governor but I was able to pose the question to Rep. Kevin Witkos (Avon, CT) and we also had a quick chat about coworking. Kevin will be one of our first group88 speakers and seemed jazzed about the idea. I also had a half-second drive-by chat with the ever-effervescent Rep. Rob Simmons, Connecticut’s Business Advocate. I will be taking Rob up on his offer of 15 minutes of his time (your place or his), and hope to get his thoughts on how we can introduce Connecticut to coworking and other new ways that entrepreneurs are doing business.

Walking out of Connecticut Business Day (which, by the way, is from 7:30-noonish, so not so much of a “day”), I felt both inspired to get more involved with the state (did I just say that outloud?) and edgy about possible outcomes from upcoming sessions: either paralyzation of possible incentives or overreaction of useless mandates. Below are a list of action points discussed and WallFly’s review categorized as “Inspired” or “Tired”:

High-tech Corridor – TIRED: Discussion of this state’s wish to be nano-pioneers and the mayor of high-tech is great but what communities are we building for innovators? We have pockets of innovation via Yale, CCAT, UConn, CCSU and others. Resources, programs and seed/investment dollars are available. What we lack is real-world connections and initiatives that move at the pace of business versus government. Government needs to understand the unique mojo of young entrepreneurs. The new mobile, home-based and start-up workforce requires different environments, culture and interaction. Unfortunately, I feel like that by the time government gets it, the trends will have moved on.

Many times today, I heard “You entrepreneurs need to reach out and get involved. Talk to us. Tell us what you need.” All true, we do need to get more invovled. But, to be candid, the Connecticut government needs to work on its rep for newbies to even consider reaching out. If you are new to entrepreneurship, the word on the street is that state government will slow you down and pain up the process of doing business. Is it true? Honestly, I don’t know. The few folks I’ve met in the state are sharp and very helpful. Is the state my first choice when I need help? No. Last summer I presented the idea of coworking to one state-funded org. Discussions were encouraging and there were many Hollywood “yes’s” about the project. But, eight months later, I’m still waiting to hear if they’re going to move forward.

Transportation – INSPIRED: If you’re not trapped under something heavy during the hours of 7a.m. to 6p.m., driving in this state is an issue for you. Gov. Rell gets this. Her recent proposal to split the DOT may or may not be the best answer but at least the discussion will (fingers crossed) lead to a real reorg. As State Senator John McKinney commented, the best solution for transforming the DOT is up for grabs right now but, one thing is for sure: “the answer is not more roads.”

Energy – TIRED: There are no energy-related bills on the table this year. The state is currently implementing and “administering” the building of transmission lines so any other discussions on energy is apparently not a priority. Connecticut has the highest energy costs in the nation. According to State Senator Donald Williams, we pay $300-500 billion in energy costs due to out-of-state purchases and then paying for it all year long. Rep. Larry Cafero told the story of a business who increased prices 75% to cover the cost of his skyrocketing electric bill. He also discussed a recent article in Expansion Management magazine that ranked Connecticut as 50th in attractive business-friendly political climates. How is it possible that energy and cost-reduction measures are NOT a priority?!

Health Plan – INSPIRED & TIRED: Gov. Rell discussed her Charter Oak Plan (insurance for those of us in the gap – i.e., one of this state’s primary workforces) and her distress on this bill (and others) that will “break the bank.” Her original proposal would cost the state $15 million while the current proposal on the table is peaking at $15 billion. Ouch.

Entity Tax Repeal – INSPIRED: Okay, it’s only $250, but for a tax that did nothing except take money out of our pockets, I think we can all be happy to say goodbye to that one.

Overall, Gov. Rell’s message is to be “cautious and realistic” as we bear through this thing that her advisors are afraid to call a recession. I agree with cutting costs, for sure. But being “cautious” doesn’t exactly fit right. Yesterday was the 75th anniversary of FDR’s famous “the only we have to fear is fear itself” first inaugural speech. For those kids out there who have heard the “fear itself” quip many times, he was not talking about Al Queda. He was talking about beating the Great Depression and building a vibrant economy that required action and didn’t bow to self-fulfilling financial doom prophecy. Today it’s true that our economy is built on stilts right now. However, if we don’t move forward and be aggressive and smart, we are sure to fall on our face.

I hope to meet with more legislators to discuss the new business environment. If there is any mandate out there to discuss, it should be the requirement of new businesses to meet with government in some fashion. Talk all you want about inactivity or overactivity in state government, until we all make our Who voices heard to the Hortons at the Legislative Office Building on Capitol Ave., can we really complain about it?

It’s not about “how” can I get successful but “how successful can I get?”

This week I attended two girl power networking events, both discovered while rummaging through MeetUp.com. Although hosted in the organizer’s home, each event was very different. The first was The Professional Women’s Lunchtime Collaborative in Springfield, Mass., a small group of business indies who gather once a month with a purpose. Each month a member takes the wheel and presents a project or challenge for the group to nosh on. I like this approach. We bring our lunches, get to know each other in small bits and do our best to stay on topic.

The second event was a wine and chocolate half-social, half-networking evening. About 20 gals and one unsuspecting guy (don’t worry, we went easy on him) gathered in a very cozy fireplaced family room. The group is the Western Mass. sect of eWomenNetwork. This is atypical of their monthly meet ups which are usually a paid-speaker-dinner event. The flow of this event was possibly too casual, as discussions drifted here and there, but I didn’t mind. We kept topics to 90% business and the ideas flowed plenty regarding marketing, staying motivated and looking for new avenues to grow business.

Both events confirmed a gut feeling that I’ve had for several months now: women are itchy. Today’s professional women are energetic, smart and eager to suss out new opportunities. We’re competitive and supportive all at once. Business networking has really grown up and we all recognize the value in creating communities that have direct and indirect impact on our business.

I believe the focus for women succeeding in business is finally shifting from isolated big strides to a multitude of smaller but more effective leaps. In the early days of my career I worked with several women who were still living in the residuals of vigilante feminists. Don’t misunderstand me here – I am a huge proponent of competition and empowerment. I also believe competition is at its best when it coexists with mutual respect and support.

With the long-time career women I encountered in the 1990s, fear of not getting ahead was the driver and an expectation of suppression was a natural response. They were still “fighting the good fight” but their fight was not of 1970s and 1980s solidarity. Their fight had moved from “the man” to protecting their hard won territory against the younger women who were looking for mentorship and empowerment. It was a weird time. My views of this time were possibly skewed because I was green and new to office politics but I doubt this is the case since I see a definite change these days.

We are beyond the 1990s confusion of “every woman for herself while pretending to stick together.” Today, it’s not an either/or situation. In the U.S., it’s not about conquering territory and making a claim anymore. Now is the time for action where the focus is not reaction but impact.

The opportunities now open to everyone in business is causing an itch. I can literally see it in people at the networking events – they’re jumping out of their skins. The breadth of opportunity is immense. It’s not about “how” can I get successful but “how successful can I get?” Moms take time off to hang with their kids and then they float into business whenever the opportunity strikes. I met a woman the other night who quit her job last summer and is just now thinking about getting another one, if the right one comes along. The organizer of the eWomenNetwork group home schools her six kids, yet finds time to help build a community of professionals who are focused on motivating and philanthropic business practice.

Man or woman in business, it’s time to scratch that itch. I want 2008 to be defined by action. Your actions should result in success for your business and for others in your community. Big or small, the actions we take to improve the business environment for others will always have great rewards for our own growth and success.

I’ve spent most of my career working for other people. Before I started WallFly, I had the everyday ritual of most Joe Workers: smack the alarm clock, drive to an office with other dutiful Joe Workers and then go home for a few hours before starting the process all over again.

I still smack the alarm clock but, depending on the previous night, it could be a 7 a.m. start time or maybe 10. How awesome is that? The freedom is the best perk. The solitariness, however, can make you feel really small. I wanted to find out who else was swimming about in the solo entrepreneur underbelly so I wrote Mavericks, an article for CT Slant. In my research, I talked with some really cool folks that ended up on the cutting room floor (1,000 words gets eaten up fast) so here are the Mavericks that didn’t make it into the piece:

Brightegg: www.brightegg.com

The Bright Idea: Smart websites for budget-smart professionals

How It Works: Brightegg has built an online platform for businesses who want to self-create, manage and market a website that is not cookie cutter and doesn’t break their bank. Their approach is unique. Designers from all over the world create themes for Brightegg and post them for purchase. Users can buy exclusive rights to a design (you’ll pay more) or choose a design that’s open to anyone (on the cheap). You can also hire Brightegg for a custom website. I know their work – you will not be disappointed. If you’ve ever tried to use free blogging software or set up a website yourself, you know the limitations with templates. Blech.

Start-up Life: Brightegg received funding for their gig and two of its partners are still juggling day jobs. Newly launched and in Beta, Brightegg has survived the funding and initial build phase and, according to co-partner Jim Kieffer, the next hurdle is traffic.

“The biggest challenge is getting the word out,” said Jim. “We offer companies something they can’t easily get anywhere else: a high-end, feature rich website, plus hosting and email, at an inexpensive price. We’ve got a great position in the marketplace but if the marketplace doesn’t know we exist, what’s the point?”

As a first venture, along with co-partners Leo Pellerin and Ryan Rose, Kieffer said one thing they’ve learned is that the money “goes much quicker than you think.” More than figuring out how to get funding, Brightegg has had to learn the nuances of working with investors.

“You need to think big. We thought big and still could have asked for more in our first round of funding. Ask yourself if you truly believe in your idea, product and business plan. Investors want a confident management team more than a good idea or product,” said Kieffer.

Kieffer advises other start-ups that a good idea is only the beginning.

“Think simple and targeted. People need to instantly connect with your brand without having to think about it. Also, take advantage of the new world of social networking and outsourcing. If done right, it can be tremendously helpful and rewarding.”

Go Cross Campus: http://gocrosscampus.blogspot.com

Designs on Dorm Dwellars: Gaming meets happy hour

How It Works: GoCrossCampus, or “GXC,” creates online games that mimic real locations. Gamers play on custom maps of their campus or surrounding area while interacting socially with other gamers. The first game was done by the Yale College council and had over 50% of the undergrads participating. Each game is custom-created to last 4-6 weeks.

Start-up Life: Unlike Brightegg, GXC is taking on the give-it-away-now-sell-later model. The games are free and, according to co-founder and Yale student Brad Hargreaves, the social networking-casual gaming platform is hoping to build a community that will attract a big player buy.

“You have Facebook versus games that were surrounded by a stigma – think of the fat kid in his basement. We want to break down that stigma. We think GXC is a great way for people to interact.”

Hargreaves, with his Yale crew, found resistance with their YouTube-like philosophy of building a following and then monetizing later on. The group had to go out of the state for funding. Connecticut investors wanted to see a strong revenue model that wasn’t part of GXC’s philosophy.

According to Hargreaves, Yale has “really taken care of us” with space, connections to advisors and people who shared theGXC philosophy and asked for nothing in return. Next on the horizon for GXC is getting more developers on board, partnering up with schools to play the game in Beta form and building a Facebook app so gamers can put stats on their profile.

For the initial games, GXC spent nothing on marketing and spent their Angel and VC funding on the product build. Hargreaves said that his biggest challenge was not getting funding but finding talent.

“The West coast is competitive. It’s tough to get the people you need because you are pulling them away from Google and Yahoo. Here it’s finding the people you need from a limited pool because they’re headed to the West coast.”

Hargreaves’ advice? “Get your idea out there. You’re not working on the Manhattan Project. If you have the opportunity to speak to Yahoo, go do it. If you’re huddling around your idea, you won’t get very far.”

XLerant: www.xlerant.com

Good Sheet: Accounting software for non-accountants

How It Works: BudgetPak is a “budgeting agent,” similar to Turbo Tax for accounting. Xlerant found that the industry is limited by targeting only the people willing to invest time to learn financial software. According to XLerant, the people driving business don’t want to be involved in the budgeting and planning process, the core of a business, because every accounting software looks like Excel, a product bought by accountants.

Start-up Life: When President Larry Serven and XLerant’s Stamford-based co-founders first developed an idea for easy-to-use accounting software, they looked to Excel. Not as a model but as everything they didn’t want to be.

“Our vision is to redefine the industry. The standard for ease of use is not Excel. The standard is Apple, Amazon, and Expedia. When someone thinks of easy, they think of ordering a book on Amazon, but they reject a spreadsheet as being ‘easy,’” said Serven.

In 2005, XLerant began developing their application with their first customer and psuedo-investor. In exchange for funding the costs of development, XLerant’s first client received unlimited user license and perpetuity. The alternative would be to grab VC cash, build and then launch.

“As an entrepreneur, you’re not always looking for the money, you’re looking to build a solid working relationship with an investor. You’re looking for them to add value,” said Serven.

XLerant headed down this partner-investor path on the advice of CTInnovations. According to Serven, CTI has helped in revealing the product, map out marketing and positioning and determine the most effective way to spend their cash.

Next step for XLerant is building the sales and marketing force. The company plans to continue building BudgetPak and looking for new ways to fill a market need.

“Every entrepreneur has to evaluate each potential exit strategy or offer when the given time comes. For us, we’re focused on keeping our head down and doing the best in the industry and good things will follow.”

The latest thing in networking and working, if you haven’t heard, is Jelly. Started by Amit Gupta of ChangeThis and BarCamp fame, Jelly-type gatherings bring solo entreprenuers and freelancers together to work out of somone’s home once a week or whenever. The result is a mutt environment of social hanging out, idea storming and actual working - all sans office politics.

Jelly is the hippie, laidback sister-in-law to the evergrowing Coworking trend where independents pay to come and go at jointly-funded office space. A local example of this is Betahouse in Boston. From what I’ve heard, the slots are for established techies versus just-starting-outs. A colleague of mine is dying to get in to Betahouse because of the networking potential. I’m sure Betahouse serves its renters well but the whole concept of how this developed intrigues me. I am always fascinated by how trends take shape and sometimes morph into the very thing they were getting away from. In this case, one of the goals of creating non-traditional work spaces through Coworking was to stave off office politics and create an open environment. Betahouse only has so many desks (12, I believe). It makes sense that they would limit those slots to folks that would most benefit from working in close quarters, but by channeling the networking, has an environment of exclusivity been created, similar to those found in traditional office politics? This isn’t a rhetorical question, I’m really asking. If anyone in Betahouse or any other Coworking space stumbles on this post, I’d like your thoughts.

Note that I have no idea if someone would be turned away from Betahouse if they didn’t fit the typical characteristics of that crowd - and, if they did, so be it. They have every right to do whatever they want with their rental space. I just find the evolution of certain types of social networking intriguing. No matter how organic an idea begins, it’s bound to get formalized. Rules follow, opinions clash and pretty soon bloggers like me start jumping all over it.

Pals of mine recently started a Jelly in Connecticut, Jam At Work, and so far I’ve only attended one afternoon. I liked it - I actually did get some work done and had a few laughs in the process. I’m sure I’ll return in the future. I doubt, however, that I will rent a coworking space anytime soon but I won’t discount it down the road.

I could start a jam or jelly or preserves of my own. Of course, this would require me to keep my dining room table free of papers, coffee mugs and random items that seem to crawl up out of nowhere. On second thought, I’ll preserve my workspace and keep the jelly in the fridge.